Paddy and Mick are walking down the road and Paddy has a bag of doughnuts in his hand.
Paddy says to Mick “If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both”
Paddy and Murphy are on incapacity benefit, claiming to be deaf.
They are sent for a check up.
Paddy says, “crafty feckers caught me out, told me to “close the door and I did”
Murphy says, “Sure they tried the same trick with me but I was too smart for that, I told them to “Close the fecking door themselves”
Paddy says to Murphy
“Why do scuba divers fall off the boat backwards?”
“Murphy says, “Ye thick twat! If they fell forward they’d still be in the boat”
Right, I’m sick of these Irish Stereotypes – As soon as I finish this drink I’m punching someone.